Imprisoned and Free

Greetings, everyone!

I apologize for my long absence. I was supposed to be back a little after Christmas, but there was a delay in the legal system that kept me in San Salvador.

Here's what happened:

There was a group of us on a couple of buses headed from El Salvador to the state of Chiapas in Mexico. We weren't there to be political, but to help on medical missions and other types of missions that were in place to work with the people in those countries. The buses we were on weren't for missionaries, but were just average routes. I spent part of it holding on to a bag of chickens for the campesina who sat across the aisle from me!

Anyway, just before we passed into Mexico, a couple of tourists got on board, and shortly after that, the bus was stopped.

A group of armed men boarded, all wearing black, wearing black berets, holding really big guns. The woman next to me smarted off to them, and when they responded, she told them that she didn't have to cooperate because she was an American citizen.

They hauled both she and I off the bus, along with a few other people, and took everything we had. We watched the other bus go by, and I saw Mother Frangelico watching.

There ws nothing she could do to help us. The bus didn't stop.

The woman I was with, even though I didn't want to be with her, kept pulling me into her trouble. Neither of us spoke a lot of Spanish, and finally (Deo Gratias!) we were separated. I think I managed to convince them that the stupid blonde (um, sorry Mother Frangelico_ and I weren't together.

Nor were either of us criminals. If she'd kept her mouth shut, we both would have been passed over, but she made a scene, and she kept making a scene. I don't know who she was with, but in any case, we both got sent to a prison in San Salvador, in chains and shackles and the whole bit. It was terribly dramatic. One would think we were both horrible terrorists.

Everyone goes into prison that way.

I was really angry at first. I couldn't get word to Mother Frangelico, or to the group we were with. The prison had a chaplain, but I couldn't get a message to him or the bishop.

Well, there was a woman there who could help, and she knew the system and got a message through the guard to someone who was visiting someone else. That person took a message to the local parish priest, and he took the message to the Bishop.

The Bishop himself came to see me, and we talked about many things. He couldn't get me out, so he advised me to do what I could while I was there.

And again, at first I was really angry. I didn't care that the Bishop came to see me. I was angry that he wasn't doing anything to get me out. At least from my perspective. I even YELLED at him! And he didn't do anything. He wasn't anything but nice to me.

After I was taken back to the prison yard, I had some time to think, and he was right. So I started looking around, and there were all kinds of people in all kinds of situations. Some were there because they were supposed to be there. But so many were there because they'd offended this or that "authority". Some really awful things happened to some of them. I'd rather never speak of it, although maybe one day I'll have to, and I'm grateful those things didn't happen to me.

When they finally came to get me out, I didn't want to leave. That was true. It wasn't because it was so great there, but I didn't want to go and leave those people behind. They finally explained to me that I could do more for the prisoners if I left, and if they could, they'd find a way to send me back in a different way.

Well, the authorities wanted me to be in SOMEONE'S custody, so they allowed me into the custody of the Bishop, under the condition that I had to remain in his household or the associated convent. He placed me with the Sisters who lived there, a couple different communities. There was a lot I didn't understand, of course, although I'd learned a lot in prison, most of it things I shouldn't have been saying!

The Superior there was constantly in shock, even though I didn't know what I was doing wrong! But there was a novice there who spoke some English and was able to explain to Mother Superior that I really wasn't so profane, just had learned prison Spanish and didn't know any better. She was charged with teaching me proper Spanish so whever I said something I shouldn't have, she corrected me and if necessary, even wrote the phrase, even though she was blushing madly when she did it.

So over the last few months, I've really gotten to know the Sisters, and their work, and they do a lot of amazing things for the poor there. The Bishop has been wanting to start a prison ministry, and so had the Sisters. I became a link as I'd come from there.

I WAS supposed to come back here, but since the government of El Salvador wouldn't let me leave yet, the Bishop persuaded them to allow me to work with the Sisters, under their supervision, and they started a prison ministry.

For now, I'm back here in the US for further discernment, but I may be going back to El Salvador, to join the Sisters and work with them. I already feel like they're family to me.

But as Mother Frangelico, Father, and the Bishop have said, it's important that I have time away since the experience as a prisoner has tainted my own discernment. They want me to be around what is familiar, to be, well, maybe "deprogrammed".

I still have nightmares of a lot of things, and the things that happened to others, things that I saw. Not all of them while I was in prison, but some while working with the Sisters.

So for now, I'm back here at the Monastery, still discerning...happy to be back with my Sisters and Brothers.

And Dang it, where ARE the Brothers and Father?

New Year and New News!

Happy New Year and Blessed Feast of the Theotokos to you all!

Christmas is always such a beautiful season, but this year it had such a pall of sadness, given what we've all experienced over the last several months, and in our "loss" of Sr. Perpetua. But even in our sadness, we found the joy that is the Christ Child, for, as Mother Frangelico pointed out, we are invited not just to be joyful, but to know the suffering of the Holy Family. We now know exile, and Sr. Perpetua knows real hardship.

I have news on that front, but just wait...I'm saving that for last!

Anyway, the Monastery is decorated for Christmas, and some very kind benefactors gave us a tree from their own property, and their family came to help us decorate. As we had no ornaments, the children helped us to make new ones, and our local parish gave us all sorts of things and invited us into their own homes to celebrate Christmas. We did honor the invitations, but our main celebration has, in the monastic style, gone on here at the Monastery. There will be more on that, but I can't wait any longer to give you the news!

Mother Frangelico received a phone call from the Bishop! In working with the US Consulate and the Bishop and a Priest, they have managed to get Sr. Perpetua released from prison!

But here's the strange part...she didn't want to go!

But the prison officials were not amused and just as they forced her into the prison (well, she'd gone humbly), they had to "force" her out. They took her immediately to the Bishop's own residence, where there are some Sisters who live in one of the wings (to run his household and serve at the Cathedral). They took her in and His Excellency took some time with our dear Sister, very concerned for her welfare, and very apologetic of course that she'd been treated so badly by his own countrymen. The people throughout Latin America are very hospitable and were absolutely horrified at what happened to her...and all the people who are imprisoned so unjustly, as so often happens there. It is an event of incredible joy when a prisoner is released.

Well, as it was, he was shocked by Sr. Perpetua's behavior, not wanting to leave the terrible conditions in the prison, and he thought maybe it was an Athanasius...no? Um...OK, Sr. Maxine tells me it's the Anastasia Syndrome, where the prisoner begins to identify with her captors. Well, apparently that wasn't it.

Sr. Perpetua saw an opportunity for service in the prison, and that's how she carried out her sentence! She wants to stay down there!

It seems that they are going to send her back for now, but the Bishop is very impressed with her, and communicated some things to our local Bishop, who in turn told Mother Frangelico. We aren't aware of what they discussed, only that Sister is coming back, but may not be with us for long.

They want her to recover and spend some time in discernment, and apparently Mother is to stay in contact with the Bishop. Something huge is happening, and hopefully we'll get Sister Perpetua's own story when she comes back.

It'll be a few days, and so we have time for the welcome she deserves on the Epiphany.

Could it be that Sister Perpetua isn't a perpetual discerner like the rest of us!

What cause for Joy!