Monday, August 18, 2008

It's Like Breaking Up!

It's been really quiet around here, so sorry for that, from all of us, but we've all been away taking advantage of a "down time", visiting communities and stuff. And because some of what we do is s personal and private, it's just not something we write on the blog. Sometimes it's hard to keep the real "hard core" stuff to ourselves instead of blabbing it to the world.

But it's been a couple weeks now, and Mother Frangenico told me to write my experience, and I think I can do it without revealing the deepest things that stay between her and I.

Anyway...she finally said I was ready to visit a community for a "come and see" weekend, and it was one that the Sisters did publicly. Some of them are just for specific discerners, maybe on this or that weekend, but often they have them for "whoever" and that's what I attended. The more "private" ones tend to be for those who are discerning to that particular community...and the community agrees.

Well, it's one I was really interested in, had everything I wanted, was absolutely amazing, so I was SO EXCITED to be there! When I got there, it was just in time for Vespers and the Rosary, and I loved the silence over dinner while we listened to Spiritual Readings. And I got along GREAT with the Sisters! It was so homey to me!

Well, I left that weekend, but went back a couple weeks later, which was just a week ago. And it was just as wonderful, without all the others around. And we all got on great, and I was thinking this was finally "Home" for me! I loved Mother Mary Paul, and Sister Therese Frassati, and Sister Maria Caritas! We had such a blast, and all seemed to be going so well!

But I met with Mother, and...they don't feel I am called to their Community. She was really nice about it, and gave me kleenexes and stuff, but said that they think my "charisms" are not suited to their community, and that I would be happier and fulfill God's will somewhere else...and gave me a few suggestions.

And I couldn't stop crying. I only cried a little there, but mostly after I got back to the Monastery here. It's like I broke up with a fiance! His family doesn't like me!

* sniffle *

I can't believe they don't want me! I mean, we got along so well, we had a great time, prayer was wonderful...! Why don't they want me???????

If anyone is looking for me, I'll either be in my cell or in the chapel. I'm not hungry so don't look for me at dinner.

* sniffle *
*

4 comments:

Mother Frangelico said...

My goodness, girl, pull yourself together! You hardly knew them!

Maybe I was wrong and you WEREN'T ready to go!

And I WILL expect you to dinner as usual, especially considering that you're the cook!

Sister Maxine said...

I'll cook! I'll make eggs... uhmmm... on second thought, how 'bout chicken tortellini? uhm.... well.... waffles! That's it, I'm makin' waffles!


who took the waffle maker? (!)

Sister Perpetua said...

Oh, no...do NOT let Sister Maxine cook! Keep her AWAY from the kitchen or she'll burn the whole place down!

Sister Caprice, do NOT make me come up and drag you down to the kitchen, because you KNOW I'll do it!

Sr. Maxine said...

Since I've been ousted out of the kitchen, I went for a walk in the gardens and picked a beautiful bouquet of roses, lillies, daffodills, and daisies just for you, Sr. Caprice.

I know you really enjoyed this order... but God must have something better in mind for you! Just imagine... you thought this was great... just wait 'til you see the one God has picked out for you! It must be an amazing order!!!


(I made sure there were no bees, wasps, or any other flying creature in the flowers before I brought them in).

...and to think I had a craving for waffles!