Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Flambee or Flambe?
*sigh*
Over the past couple months, Sr. Caprice has been trying to teach me how to cook. I thought I mastered the art of microwaving, however I quickly discovered that God did not present me with the passion for the preparation of processing provisions. As Sr. Caprice explained, I was the cause of the catastrophe.
It all started a couple months ago after everyone came back from their day out (and my free-day in the Monastery - are we EVER going to give this place a name?). Sr. Caprice freaked out because of a bug that was found in the hallway. She grabbed a can of Raid in one of the closets and nearly asphyxiated us by spraying nearly the entire can on one small harmless ant. She thought it was empty and mindlessly left it on the kitchen counter during one of our cooking sessions. The next day I was going through one of her cookbooks and saw a really cool recipe for Carmelized Bananas (also called flambe - I pronounced it like flum-bee, like a bumble bee). I wasn't sure what a 'flambe' was, but caramelized bananas sounded like a great treat on ice cream for a hot summer day.
So when she and Mother Frangelico went out to do the gardening, I was in charge of making lunch. Normally for lunch we have sandwiches or leftovers, which I heat up in the microwave - no problem, right? Wrong!
The Recipe:
BANANA FLAMBE
4 bananas
Doesn't that sound just scrumptious? I found all the ingredients except for the Tia Maria. I had never heard of 'cognac' so I wasn't quite sure what it was, but I found a nearly full bottle hidden in one of the cupboards, way behind the good bowls on the very top shelf in the kitchen. I combined the bananas, brown sugar, cognac, and lemon juice. Since I am not able to use the stove or oven yet, I heated everything in the microwave. When I took them out, it looked a bit runny, so I added more of the cognac stuff and put it back in the microwave. It turned a light shade of brown, which I figured was carmelized. I added the brown sugar & orange juice and put it back into the microwave for 2 minutes.
As the flambe was cooking, I started setting the table. I found a drawer full of candles & holders and thought it would be a nice touch for a quiet lunch. However, I went to check on the flambee and looked - it was still cooking. I thought that was odd, but quickly dismissed the thought and continued to set the table and get the rest of lunch ready.
After I had the plates & silver set, I lit the candles. I heard some sputtering in the kitchen so I went back to see how the bananas were doing. I placed the candles on the counter, pulled the mixture out of the microwave and put it on the counter. When all of a sudden the entire thing exploded! It looked like a fireworks show. The kitchen quickly went up into flames!
I quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher on the counter & started spraying the mixture and anything else that was flaming. The fire billowed from the can - it looked like a fire-breathing dragon! It set the drapes and towels on fire. I looked at the canister I was holding - it was the can of Raid!
I couldn't reach the water from the sink because of the fire so I pulled one of the fire extinguishers off of the far wall, pulled the fire lever on the wall next to it, and hoisted the extinguisher on my hip. But by this time, the entire kitchen was engulfed in flames and the little fire extinguisher did nothing, not to mention I couldn't see & could barely breathe! I ran out of the kitchen into the hallway to get a breath of air - smoke & fire billowed from the kitchen.
I conceded trying to fight the flames and ran out of the Monastery. Mother Frangelico and Father ran over to see if I was okay. The fire trucks and ambulance came in about 2 minutes, but by that time, the entire first floor of the Monastery was in flames and it was heading up to the 2nd story. We all looked in horror at the sight.
After explaining all of this to Mother Frangelico & Father, my days of 'preparing' any meals is over. I have been completely banned from the kitchen, with the exception of peeling potatoes, which I will be doing for the rest of my LIFE!
Over the past couple months, Sr. Caprice has been trying to teach me how to cook. I thought I mastered the art of microwaving, however I quickly discovered that God did not present me with the passion for the preparation of processing provisions. As Sr. Caprice explained, I was the cause of the catastrophe.
It all started a couple months ago after everyone came back from their day out (and my free-day in the Monastery - are we EVER going to give this place a name?). Sr. Caprice freaked out because of a bug that was found in the hallway. She grabbed a can of Raid in one of the closets and nearly asphyxiated us by spraying nearly the entire can on one small harmless ant. She thought it was empty and mindlessly left it on the kitchen counter during one of our cooking sessions. The next day I was going through one of her cookbooks and saw a really cool recipe for Carmelized Bananas (also called flambe - I pronounced it like flum-bee, like a bumble bee). I wasn't sure what a 'flambe' was, but caramelized bananas sounded like a great treat on ice cream for a hot summer day.
So when she and Mother Frangelico went out to do the gardening, I was in charge of making lunch. Normally for lunch we have sandwiches or leftovers, which I heat up in the microwave - no problem, right? Wrong!
The Recipe:
BANANA FLAMBE
4 bananas
2 tbsp. brown sugar
2 tbsp. cognac
2 tbsp. butter
2 tbsp. sugar
2 tbsp. Tia Maria
Juice of 1 lemon
Juice of 2 oranges
Rind of 1 lemon, sliced
Whipped cream
Cinnamon
Place bananas, brown sugar, cognac and lemon juice. Marinate 15 minutes. Heat butter and sugar, cook until caramelized. When golden brown pour in orange juice; mix well. Cook 2 or 3 minutes. Stir constantly. Add banana mix to orange mix; add lemon rind and cook 1 minute. Pour in Tia Maria and flambe. Cook 1 minute on high. Add whipped cream and cinnamon.
Place bananas, brown sugar, cognac and lemon juice. Marinate 15 minutes. Heat butter and sugar, cook until caramelized. When golden brown pour in orange juice; mix well. Cook 2 or 3 minutes. Stir constantly. Add banana mix to orange mix; add lemon rind and cook 1 minute. Pour in Tia Maria and flambe. Cook 1 minute on high. Add whipped cream and cinnamon.
Doesn't that sound just scrumptious? I found all the ingredients except for the Tia Maria. I had never heard of 'cognac' so I wasn't quite sure what it was, but I found a nearly full bottle hidden in one of the cupboards, way behind the good bowls on the very top shelf in the kitchen. I combined the bananas, brown sugar, cognac, and lemon juice. Since I am not able to use the stove or oven yet, I heated everything in the microwave. When I took them out, it looked a bit runny, so I added more of the cognac stuff and put it back in the microwave. It turned a light shade of brown, which I figured was carmelized. I added the brown sugar & orange juice and put it back into the microwave for 2 minutes.
As the flambe was cooking, I started setting the table. I found a drawer full of candles & holders and thought it would be a nice touch for a quiet lunch. However, I went to check on the flambee and looked - it was still cooking. I thought that was odd, but quickly dismissed the thought and continued to set the table and get the rest of lunch ready.
After I had the plates & silver set, I lit the candles. I heard some sputtering in the kitchen so I went back to see how the bananas were doing. I placed the candles on the counter, pulled the mixture out of the microwave and put it on the counter. When all of a sudden the entire thing exploded! It looked like a fireworks show. The kitchen quickly went up into flames!
I quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher on the counter & started spraying the mixture and anything else that was flaming. The fire billowed from the can - it looked like a fire-breathing dragon! It set the drapes and towels on fire. I looked at the canister I was holding - it was the can of Raid!
I couldn't reach the water from the sink because of the fire so I pulled one of the fire extinguishers off of the far wall, pulled the fire lever on the wall next to it, and hoisted the extinguisher on my hip. But by this time, the entire kitchen was engulfed in flames and the little fire extinguisher did nothing, not to mention I couldn't see & could barely breathe! I ran out of the kitchen into the hallway to get a breath of air - smoke & fire billowed from the kitchen.
I conceded trying to fight the flames and ran out of the Monastery. Mother Frangelico and Father ran over to see if I was okay. The fire trucks and ambulance came in about 2 minutes, but by that time, the entire first floor of the Monastery was in flames and it was heading up to the 2nd story. We all looked in horror at the sight.
After explaining all of this to Mother Frangelico & Father, my days of 'preparing' any meals is over. I have been completely banned from the kitchen, with the exception of peeling potatoes, which I will be doing for the rest of my LIFE!
(And, please pray for Sr. Perpetua! I can not imagine the horror she must be feeling to be in a strange country, not understand the language, and not understand why you are being detained. AND I am seriously praying that a firing squad is NOT issued! We need angelic protection and we need it fast!)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
About. Sr. Perpetua
Um...I left this out of the other post, but Mother Frangelico and Father both said I should deliver the news.
Sr. Perpetua is not with us.
We still don't have all the facts, but...um...she's in prison in Mexico. It had something to do with the Federales on the bus that they robbed, and we're not sure what she did or said, or if she did or said anything. We're really not at all certain of what has happened to her.
Mother Frangelico has spoken with our Bishop here, and the Bishop there, and they are working together to get her out. They think she might have been mistaken for a Marxist femmie leader, or maybe a drug dealer. If that's the case, it'll be tricky getting her out.
And keeping her away from the firing squad.
Oh...actually, Sr. Maxine reminded me that Sr. Perpetua is actually in San Salvador. Her "arrest" happened when we passed through, but we were on seperate buses.
Anyway, it's all the same, the language and jungle are the same, as far as this is concerned.
So please keep Sr. Perpetua in your prayers. The Firing Squad is a real possiblity and she didn't do anything!
We'll let you know what happens.
I think even the Benedictines are praying for her, because we told them, too. They're going to take action and send a squad of Protesters to the prison in San Salvador and to the School of the Americas in North Carolina (or wherever that is).
Sr. Perpetua is not with us.
We still don't have all the facts, but...um...she's in prison in Mexico. It had something to do with the Federales on the bus that they robbed, and we're not sure what she did or said, or if she did or said anything. We're really not at all certain of what has happened to her.
Mother Frangelico has spoken with our Bishop here, and the Bishop there, and they are working together to get her out. They think she might have been mistaken for a Marxist femmie leader, or maybe a drug dealer. If that's the case, it'll be tricky getting her out.
And keeping her away from the firing squad.
Oh...actually, Sr. Maxine reminded me that Sr. Perpetua is actually in San Salvador. Her "arrest" happened when we passed through, but we were on seperate buses.
Anyway, it's all the same, the language and jungle are the same, as far as this is concerned.
So please keep Sr. Perpetua in your prayers. The Firing Squad is a real possiblity and she didn't do anything!
We'll let you know what happens.
I think even the Benedictines are praying for her, because we told them, too. They're going to take action and send a squad of Protesters to the prison in San Salvador and to the School of the Americas in North Carolina (or wherever that is).
We're Baaaaaaaaaak!
Greetings, everyone!
Even though we just got in the door, Mother Frangelico said I should jump on the computer and give an explanation for our absence for so long. It was a surprise to all of us.
First, it happened that we had a fire in the kitchen when Sr. Maxine was trying to cook up a surprise. She did her best, but things got out of control, and instead of grabbing the fire extinguisher, she grabbed a can of RAID I'd left nearby. Well, she sprayed the stove, and, well...let's just say it didn't end well.
She can tell the rest of that story, for she did quickly realize her mistake, even in her panic, and did take immediate action.
We all evacuated the monastery, and once the flames were put out, we went in to salvage what we could. There are restoration companies that can do a lot, and as far as personal belongings, we didn't have a lot, so no huge personal loss.
It DOES make our heart go out to those who have suffered house fires, though.
We were all taken in; Father just went to a nearby rectory (priests have it so easy..what's up with that?). We were taken into a local Benedictine monastery, and the guys...Brother Brit and Brother Gus...there was room for the at the rectory, too. So as it was, it worked out.
They had a good place, but, well, can I be honest? When we got the invite to stay with the Benedictines, we hesitated. Because, well, they have a "labyrinth", they practice "centering prayer" and "reiki" and have all sorts of New Age "devotions". Sr. Perpetua was especially freaked out by that, and didn't want to go at all.
But Mother Frangelico was stalwart, and as aways, practical. She chastized us and said that the offer of hospitality was both sincere and a part of the original Benedictine charism, and that we couldn't even consider not accepting. She also pointed out that even if those Sisters had left behind orthodoxy, they weren't without hope of conversion, and in fact, they were our Sisters, too. We needed to embrace them as they were embracing us, and they well knew what we were about, too and extended the invitation anyway.
So we realized she was right, and we were happy to meet the Benedictines.
They were kind and gracious. This particular community doesn't wear habits...stopped wearing them sometime in the 60's, so it really was like living with a bunch of spinster Aunts in a big mansion. But they were really nice and aunt-like, and we all got along really well as long as we didn't discuss theology.
That was kinda weird. But they showed us a lot of Benedictine customes, and they prayed the Liturgy of the Hours, too, but in the Benedictine tradition, which they showed us (they have a Benedctine Di-urinal. I thought only guys had those, but I guess the word had to come from somewhere. How derogatory, though!)
And the Sisters didn't expect us to walk the labyrinth or anything. In fact, although they invited us to different things they were doing, they didn't expect us to really follow, they just wanted to make sure we knew what they were doing.
Mother Frangelico went around a lot with pursed lips, but she was very gracious to them and very thankful, and as it was, our own community was able to live quite peacefully with the Sisters we had otherwise thought were insane.
As it turns out, they were normal women with really stupid ideas about God and who He is. (They keep calling Him "Mother"). I don't think they represent all Benedictines, though.
Anyway, these women were really into "social justice", and suddenly, Mother Frangelico got an idea; while we waited for our moastery to be rebuilt and remodeled, we could do our own social justice work!
She and Father looked into several options, and we ended up finding a group that needed a long-term committment. So we went down to Mexico to work in the barrios, and helped to give shots, offer food, sew clothing, raise funds...all sorts of stuff.
It was sad leaving the Benedictines, but they seemed more relieved than anything, but at least our parting was very friendly. I think we have a new understanding with them, which is nice.
But, if I can be honest...although they're like a bunch of Aunts, I guess I can see why no one is choosing to give up sex in order to be a New Age old maid. Personally, I think I could manage celibacy and be a spinster better without a bunch of other spinsters harping on me to do this or that all the time.
Oh...I have to go help Mother Frangelico bring in the groceries. The monastery looks great and has a new paint smell, and I love it.
More on what we did and where we were sent later. Sister Maxine might have a few things to offer, maybe even her side of the story.
See you later!
Even though we just got in the door, Mother Frangelico said I should jump on the computer and give an explanation for our absence for so long. It was a surprise to all of us.
First, it happened that we had a fire in the kitchen when Sr. Maxine was trying to cook up a surprise. She did her best, but things got out of control, and instead of grabbing the fire extinguisher, she grabbed a can of RAID I'd left nearby. Well, she sprayed the stove, and, well...let's just say it didn't end well.
She can tell the rest of that story, for she did quickly realize her mistake, even in her panic, and did take immediate action.
We all evacuated the monastery, and once the flames were put out, we went in to salvage what we could. There are restoration companies that can do a lot, and as far as personal belongings, we didn't have a lot, so no huge personal loss.
It DOES make our heart go out to those who have suffered house fires, though.
We were all taken in; Father just went to a nearby rectory (priests have it so easy..what's up with that?). We were taken into a local Benedictine monastery, and the guys...Brother Brit and Brother Gus...there was room for the at the rectory, too. So as it was, it worked out.
They had a good place, but, well, can I be honest? When we got the invite to stay with the Benedictines, we hesitated. Because, well, they have a "labyrinth", they practice "centering prayer" and "reiki" and have all sorts of New Age "devotions". Sr. Perpetua was especially freaked out by that, and didn't want to go at all.
But Mother Frangelico was stalwart, and as aways, practical. She chastized us and said that the offer of hospitality was both sincere and a part of the original Benedictine charism, and that we couldn't even consider not accepting. She also pointed out that even if those Sisters had left behind orthodoxy, they weren't without hope of conversion, and in fact, they were our Sisters, too. We needed to embrace them as they were embracing us, and they well knew what we were about, too and extended the invitation anyway.
So we realized she was right, and we were happy to meet the Benedictines.
They were kind and gracious. This particular community doesn't wear habits...stopped wearing them sometime in the 60's, so it really was like living with a bunch of spinster Aunts in a big mansion. But they were really nice and aunt-like, and we all got along really well as long as we didn't discuss theology.
That was kinda weird. But they showed us a lot of Benedictine customes, and they prayed the Liturgy of the Hours, too, but in the Benedictine tradition, which they showed us (they have a Benedctine Di-urinal. I thought only guys had those, but I guess the word had to come from somewhere. How derogatory, though!)
And the Sisters didn't expect us to walk the labyrinth or anything. In fact, although they invited us to different things they were doing, they didn't expect us to really follow, they just wanted to make sure we knew what they were doing.
Mother Frangelico went around a lot with pursed lips, but she was very gracious to them and very thankful, and as it was, our own community was able to live quite peacefully with the Sisters we had otherwise thought were insane.
As it turns out, they were normal women with really stupid ideas about God and who He is. (They keep calling Him "Mother"). I don't think they represent all Benedictines, though.
Anyway, these women were really into "social justice", and suddenly, Mother Frangelico got an idea; while we waited for our moastery to be rebuilt and remodeled, we could do our own social justice work!
She and Father looked into several options, and we ended up finding a group that needed a long-term committment. So we went down to Mexico to work in the barrios, and helped to give shots, offer food, sew clothing, raise funds...all sorts of stuff.
It was sad leaving the Benedictines, but they seemed more relieved than anything, but at least our parting was very friendly. I think we have a new understanding with them, which is nice.
But, if I can be honest...although they're like a bunch of Aunts, I guess I can see why no one is choosing to give up sex in order to be a New Age old maid. Personally, I think I could manage celibacy and be a spinster better without a bunch of other spinsters harping on me to do this or that all the time.
Oh...I have to go help Mother Frangelico bring in the groceries. The monastery looks great and has a new paint smell, and I love it.
More on what we did and where we were sent later. Sister Maxine might have a few things to offer, maybe even her side of the story.
See you later!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Freedom to run...amok!
Shhhh!!!! I'm huntin' wabbit! haaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaaaaa
Everyone is gone! Gone I tell you. Yeah! (Snoopy dance)
I have the entire monastery to myself!!!!
Oh, the freedom!
What shall I do first?
You know...I have ALWAYS wanted to do the slide that Tom Cruise does in 'Risky Business.'
I rolled up the rug in the hallway, dusted the floor (SOMEONE put all of the dirt UNDER the rug rather than picking it up with the dustpan), and then I played the air guitar. It was hysterical! I had so much fun! (of course, I was REALLY glad no one else was here to see me play the air guitar...or the slide).
Then I found LOTS of rubber bands. I shot them up into the rafters of the family area - I was trying to get them into all of the vases and urns that were up on the shelves. A couple times I completely missed and hit the light instead - but there were a few times when I made a 'slam dunk'! (and the crowd cheered!)
Mom F. asked me to mop the kitchen floor. Well, I've ALWAYS wanted to put the scrub brushes on my feet and skate...so I did! A couple times I almost fell completely on my bottom - but I caught myself on the island. Of course, I had to hike up my habit to my knees - but it was so much fun! I had suds EVERYWHERE! It reminded me of that episode of Brady Bunch where Peter cleans his own suit & puts the entire box of detergent in the washing machine. Bubbles, bubbles, everywhere!
The cleanup was also a big hit - I put towels down & slid them across the floor. Mop floor - DONE!
Now that I've played for hours inside - Time to play....OUTSIDE!!!
I have not been 'bug hunting' for quite some time. I miss going out on excursions with my Uncle Max. So, I went on an excursion with God - we went huntin'. We found some really cool spiders just outside the monastery doors.
You know, Walt Whitman wrote about spiders.
It is so much fun watching a spider spin its web - the care and the preciseness of the job. Way cool!
I heard the katydids, I saw some hummingbirds (Sr. Caprice put up feeders for them a couple months ago), I even saw a deer. I tried to get close to it, but as I was inching along, I accidentally stepped on a twig, it broke under my foot, and the deer ran. What a graceful creature!
I spent the rest of the day outside, enjoying the sunshine, the beauty of God's earth and creatures. What a wonderful day!
Everyone is gone! Gone I tell you. Yeah! (Snoopy dance)
I have the entire monastery to myself!!!!
Oh, the freedom!
What shall I do first?
You know...I have ALWAYS wanted to do the slide that Tom Cruise does in 'Risky Business.'
I rolled up the rug in the hallway, dusted the floor (SOMEONE put all of the dirt UNDER the rug rather than picking it up with the dustpan), and then I played the air guitar. It was hysterical! I had so much fun! (of course, I was REALLY glad no one else was here to see me play the air guitar...or the slide).
Then I found LOTS of rubber bands. I shot them up into the rafters of the family area - I was trying to get them into all of the vases and urns that were up on the shelves. A couple times I completely missed and hit the light instead - but there were a few times when I made a 'slam dunk'! (and the crowd cheered!)
Mom F. asked me to mop the kitchen floor. Well, I've ALWAYS wanted to put the scrub brushes on my feet and skate...so I did! A couple times I almost fell completely on my bottom - but I caught myself on the island. Of course, I had to hike up my habit to my knees - but it was so much fun! I had suds EVERYWHERE! It reminded me of that episode of Brady Bunch where Peter cleans his own suit & puts the entire box of detergent in the washing machine. Bubbles, bubbles, everywhere!
The cleanup was also a big hit - I put towels down & slid them across the floor. Mop floor - DONE!
Now that I've played for hours inside - Time to play....OUTSIDE!!!
I have not been 'bug hunting' for quite some time. I miss going out on excursions with my Uncle Max. So, I went on an excursion with God - we went huntin'. We found some really cool spiders just outside the monastery doors.
You know, Walt Whitman wrote about spiders.
A noiseless patient spider,
I mark’d where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark’d how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.
And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form’d, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.
It is so much fun watching a spider spin its web - the care and the preciseness of the job. Way cool!
I heard the katydids, I saw some hummingbirds (Sr. Caprice put up feeders for them a couple months ago), I even saw a deer. I tried to get close to it, but as I was inching along, I accidentally stepped on a twig, it broke under my foot, and the deer ran. What a graceful creature!
I spent the rest of the day outside, enjoying the sunshine, the beauty of God's earth and creatures. What a wonderful day!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I Wandered and I Wondered...
Sr. Perpetua caught me daydreaming in Church today. It has been raining all night, actually it stormed all night, and raining all this morning. I turned toward the window during Holy Hour and let my mind wander. Before I knew it, Holy Hour was over and Mass was beginning. Sr. Perpetua elbowed me to stand for the Procession.
When we sat back down for the readings, I decided to take a brief look and I saw a glimpse of the sun. A butterfly landed on the windowsill, slowly flapping its wings. It was so beautiful to watch. The gold, brown, green, and blue colors on the wings shone like a rainbow in the sunshine. He seemed to want, no yearn, to be in with us during this Holy Sacrifice.
The clouds seemed to part, letting in the rays of sunshine like Heaven was just beckoning to be seen. I could just imagine the Saints and Angels flying about, celebrating with us. I wondered what it would be like to be that butterfly - to be free - a freedom we can only grasp at.
Then Sr. Perpetua elbowed me again for the Gospel reading. My side is getting really sore!
We sat down for the homily and all I remember was Father saying something about the wind and my eyes went back outside. My mind wandering on everything that has happened this year. My removal from all kitchen duties, and I started to laugh when I thought about Sr. Perpetua and I in the flour fight. Apparently I was snickering a little too loudly because Sr. Perpetua elbowed me AGAIN! I looked up and Father was staring directly at me. I tried to look innocent, but I don't think it worked.
He continued his homily. He was retelling the story of the Apostles in the boat and how Peter asked Jesus to save him when he started drowning in the water. Water....rain....outside.... Before I knew it, my eyes were back outside. This time, reliving the experience of the fireworks and how Brother Gus was burned. How helpless we all felt. If I could trade places with him, I would have. There were times when I begged God to let me have the pain, just to ease that of Brother Gus. But God must not have heard my prayer.
Yow! *oops* Sr. Perpetua elbowed me again. I was having a very difficult time concentrating. It seemed like everything was begging for my attention ... when I knew that Jesus' Sacrifice desired my attention, my undivided attention. Father was looking at me again, this time, I think Mother Frangelico heard it too. Man she elbows hard!
Concentrate on the Mass...I had to keep telling myself this. We knelt for the epiclesis & Consecration. I really wish Father had the Sanctus Bells to ring. It would certainly help to keep my mind focused on the events in front of me. But the window and the outside world keeps beckoning for my attention. Now there's a dove on the sill. I can hear it cooing through the pane.
Then my mind goes to Noah and how he sent the dove out to find land. Or when the dove was above Jesus' head when he was Baptized by St. John. How God loves the dove. The dove, a sign of the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit....oh my! I missed the Consecration! *sigh* Forgive me, God. Help me to keep my mind on the task at hand.
When we sat back down for the readings, I decided to take a brief look and I saw a glimpse of the sun. A butterfly landed on the windowsill, slowly flapping its wings. It was so beautiful to watch. The gold, brown, green, and blue colors on the wings shone like a rainbow in the sunshine. He seemed to want, no yearn, to be in with us during this Holy Sacrifice.
The clouds seemed to part, letting in the rays of sunshine like Heaven was just beckoning to be seen. I could just imagine the Saints and Angels flying about, celebrating with us. I wondered what it would be like to be that butterfly - to be free - a freedom we can only grasp at.
Then Sr. Perpetua elbowed me again for the Gospel reading. My side is getting really sore!
We sat down for the homily and all I remember was Father saying something about the wind and my eyes went back outside. My mind wandering on everything that has happened this year. My removal from all kitchen duties, and I started to laugh when I thought about Sr. Perpetua and I in the flour fight. Apparently I was snickering a little too loudly because Sr. Perpetua elbowed me AGAIN! I looked up and Father was staring directly at me. I tried to look innocent, but I don't think it worked.
He continued his homily. He was retelling the story of the Apostles in the boat and how Peter asked Jesus to save him when he started drowning in the water. Water....rain....outside.... Before I knew it, my eyes were back outside. This time, reliving the experience of the fireworks and how Brother Gus was burned. How helpless we all felt. If I could trade places with him, I would have. There were times when I begged God to let me have the pain, just to ease that of Brother Gus. But God must not have heard my prayer.
Yow! *oops* Sr. Perpetua elbowed me again. I was having a very difficult time concentrating. It seemed like everything was begging for my attention ... when I knew that Jesus' Sacrifice desired my attention, my undivided attention. Father was looking at me again, this time, I think Mother Frangelico heard it too. Man she elbows hard!
Concentrate on the Mass...I had to keep telling myself this. We knelt for the epiclesis & Consecration. I really wish Father had the Sanctus Bells to ring. It would certainly help to keep my mind focused on the events in front of me. But the window and the outside world keeps beckoning for my attention. Now there's a dove on the sill. I can hear it cooing through the pane.
Then my mind goes to Noah and how he sent the dove out to find land. Or when the dove was above Jesus' head when he was Baptized by St. John. How God loves the dove. The dove, a sign of the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit....oh my! I missed the Consecration! *sigh* Forgive me, God. Help me to keep my mind on the task at hand.
Monday, August 18, 2008
It's Like Breaking Up!
It's been really quiet around here, so sorry for that, from all of us, but we've all been away taking advantage of a "down time", visiting communities and stuff. And because some of what we do is s personal and private, it's just not something we write on the blog. Sometimes it's hard to keep the real "hard core" stuff to ourselves instead of blabbing it to the world.
But it's been a couple weeks now, and Mother Frangenico told me to write my experience, and I think I can do it without revealing the deepest things that stay between her and I.
Anyway...she finally said I was ready to visit a community for a "come and see" weekend, and it was one that the Sisters did publicly. Some of them are just for specific discerners, maybe on this or that weekend, but often they have them for "whoever" and that's what I attended. The more "private" ones tend to be for those who are discerning to that particular community...and the community agrees.
Well, it's one I was really interested in, had everything I wanted, was absolutely amazing, so I was SO EXCITED to be there! When I got there, it was just in time for Vespers and the Rosary, and I loved the silence over dinner while we listened to Spiritual Readings. And I got along GREAT with the Sisters! It was so homey to me!
Well, I left that weekend, but went back a couple weeks later, which was just a week ago. And it was just as wonderful, without all the others around. And we all got on great, and I was thinking this was finally "Home" for me! I loved Mother Mary Paul, and Sister Therese Frassati, and Sister Maria Caritas! We had such a blast, and all seemed to be going so well!
But I met with Mother, and...they don't feel I am called to their Community. She was really nice about it, and gave me kleenexes and stuff, but said that they think my "charisms" are not suited to their community, and that I would be happier and fulfill God's will somewhere else...and gave me a few suggestions.
And I couldn't stop crying. I only cried a little there, but mostly after I got back to the Monastery here. It's like I broke up with a fiance! His family doesn't like me!
* sniffle *
I can't believe they don't want me! I mean, we got along so well, we had a great time, prayer was wonderful...! Why don't they want me???????
If anyone is looking for me, I'll either be in my cell or in the chapel. I'm not hungry so don't look for me at dinner.
* sniffle *
*
But it's been a couple weeks now, and Mother Frangenico told me to write my experience, and I think I can do it without revealing the deepest things that stay between her and I.
Anyway...she finally said I was ready to visit a community for a "come and see" weekend, and it was one that the Sisters did publicly. Some of them are just for specific discerners, maybe on this or that weekend, but often they have them for "whoever" and that's what I attended. The more "private" ones tend to be for those who are discerning to that particular community...and the community agrees.
Well, it's one I was really interested in, had everything I wanted, was absolutely amazing, so I was SO EXCITED to be there! When I got there, it was just in time for Vespers and the Rosary, and I loved the silence over dinner while we listened to Spiritual Readings. And I got along GREAT with the Sisters! It was so homey to me!
Well, I left that weekend, but went back a couple weeks later, which was just a week ago. And it was just as wonderful, without all the others around. And we all got on great, and I was thinking this was finally "Home" for me! I loved Mother Mary Paul, and Sister Therese Frassati, and Sister Maria Caritas! We had such a blast, and all seemed to be going so well!
But I met with Mother, and...they don't feel I am called to their Community. She was really nice about it, and gave me kleenexes and stuff, but said that they think my "charisms" are not suited to their community, and that I would be happier and fulfill God's will somewhere else...and gave me a few suggestions.
And I couldn't stop crying. I only cried a little there, but mostly after I got back to the Monastery here. It's like I broke up with a fiance! His family doesn't like me!
* sniffle *
I can't believe they don't want me! I mean, we got along so well, we had a great time, prayer was wonderful...! Why don't they want me???????
If anyone is looking for me, I'll either be in my cell or in the chapel. I'm not hungry so don't look for me at dinner.
* sniffle *
*
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