I have to greatly apologize to Sister Caprice for the last few days. I've been terribly busy with some obligations outside the monastery and haven't had a chance to check in on her. She probably thinks I'm avoiding her, definitely not the case!
Anyway, Sister, I want to reiterate what I said in our meeting, and give some of the direction for follow up.
First off, many many folks who have gone through even a small amount of what you told me Monday have lasting scars. It affects relationships all over the place, even (and especially) our relationship with God! When we've been formed to be hated, how could God love us, when no one else does?
However, when we look to Jesus' ministry as He walked this earth, whom did He especially seek out? Those who were on the margins of society, those who were shunned and hated by everyone else. In that way, He still reaches to those who are in need to offer them healing, to offer them forgiveness, to call them back into relationship with God. Sometimes the bigger struggle is accepting the Love that is the free gift from God.
Sister, it comes over time, slowly wake up to this possibility; then your vocational discernment will start to take on a new direction and vitality.
The stations that LM published are excellent, and as someone deals with a situation such as this, meditating on the stations of the Cross are an excellent way to deal with our own sufferings, to unite them with the Cross of Christ and with Him to over come.
Anyway, it is getting late and the new brother is waiting to use the computer. Please be kind, he seems to be a bit on the wild side. (We're expecting a few more to join up in a few days as well.)