Please Mr. Custer I Don't Wanna Go!

Well, so now Mother Frangelico apparently wants me to enlist in the military, but I'm not sure I want to do that, either. So I'm just not going to think about it.

And she keeps telling me what to do, but I can't keep up with it all! First she and Father ask me to write my discernment story, and that's not even done yet, and now she's demaning that I join the Navy! I don't understand, at all.

At least Father isn't making demands. They must teach priests how to be nice when they're in the seminary. But I didn't know priests went around getting onto movie sets. I wonder if I can tag along some time and maybe he can talk to the Director and make me an extra. I used to do a little acting in school...that was really fun! Remind me to ask Father later if I can get in on that gig.

Oh, right. I was talking about discernment. When I left off, I had said I had some communities on a favorites list, but in looking at it, I wasn't that interested. But in the morning, having had time to think more about what that person had said, I took another look and read about some of the communities in more depth. And it DID look appealing. And I wante to go visit, but things at work were too busy so I just told God to help me know when it was time or where I should go.

But it was so busy I didn't get to Mass that week, and so I kinda forgot about the communities for a few weeks. And then, again, at church one evening, I was talking to another lady while we cleaned tables after a K of C dinner, and she asked me, "Do you think you might have a Vocation?"

I told her no, I didn't think so. So we kept cleaning and I went home. But she made me think about it again, and so on. This pattern happened a few times.

I really didn't think God was calling me. Because I'm not the kind of person God would ever call. I'm kind of a ditz, and I'm not real holy or anything. I like going to church and I like praying, but really, I'm not even good at anything. What use would God have for me?

But the thought wasn't going away, so finally, after about the fifth person asked me that question and I said "no", by then I realized I was lying. So I went to Confession, because lying is wrong.

And I went to a prayer meeting after that, and afterwards, admitted to a couple people that I was considering religious life. And they rejoiced, and I was just really embarassed so I downplayed it and said I wasn't sure and they shouldn't get excited.

At least we weren't on a movie set, though. I wouldn't have wanted that captured on video.