Sunday, May 11, 2008

Please Mr. Custer I Don't Wanna Go!

Well, so now Mother Frangelico apparently wants me to enlist in the military, but I'm not sure I want to do that, either. So I'm just not going to think about it.

And she keeps telling me what to do, but I can't keep up with it all! First she and Father ask me to write my discernment story, and that's not even done yet, and now she's demaning that I join the Navy! I don't understand, at all.

At least Father isn't making demands. They must teach priests how to be nice when they're in the seminary. But I didn't know priests went around getting onto movie sets. I wonder if I can tag along some time and maybe he can talk to the Director and make me an extra. I used to do a little acting in school...that was really fun! Remind me to ask Father later if I can get in on that gig.

Oh, right. I was talking about discernment. When I left off, I had said I had some communities on a favorites list, but in looking at it, I wasn't that interested. But in the morning, having had time to think more about what that person had said, I took another look and read about some of the communities in more depth. And it DID look appealing. And I wante to go visit, but things at work were too busy so I just told God to help me know when it was time or where I should go.

But it was so busy I didn't get to Mass that week, and so I kinda forgot about the communities for a few weeks. And then, again, at church one evening, I was talking to another lady while we cleaned tables after a K of C dinner, and she asked me, "Do you think you might have a Vocation?"

I told her no, I didn't think so. So we kept cleaning and I went home. But she made me think about it again, and so on. This pattern happened a few times.

I really didn't think God was calling me. Because I'm not the kind of person God would ever call. I'm kind of a ditz, and I'm not real holy or anything. I like going to church and I like praying, but really, I'm not even good at anything. What use would God have for me?

But the thought wasn't going away, so finally, after about the fifth person asked me that question and I said "no", by then I realized I was lying. So I went to Confession, because lying is wrong.

And I went to a prayer meeting after that, and afterwards, admitted to a couple people that I was considering religious life. And they rejoiced, and I was just really embarassed so I downplayed it and said I wasn't sure and they shouldn't get excited.

At least we weren't on a movie set, though. I wouldn't have wanted that captured on video.


Mother Frangelico said...

* sigh *

You're right of course, Sister Caprice. I've been asking too much of you, and I'm sorry. You are doing a wonderful job in telling your story and you're making some really good points.

Clearly, back then you recognized God's voice in the invitations of those who know you best, and that prompted you to look further. And what you're describing is common to a lot of people, even to being fearful to admit that this is a possiblity. Now, I'm not sure yet where you went wrong, but hopefully as you tell your story we'll get things sorted out.

Right, Father? Any advice for the girl?

Father said...

Sorry I haven't responded earlier, I saw some old friends after Mass this morning and they invited my to brunch. Well, it was such a nice day that a round of golf seemed in order afterwards. (I've really got to get my driver straigtened out!)

Clearly the girl is confused. And whenever I am confused I head out for a nice long walk (the path through the woods is a particular favorite) as I find that communing with nature is a great way to hear God's voice.

Others have said something about Adoration. I'll have to look that up and see what that's about. Aren't there Dominicans in the area? Maybe we should send one of the brothers over there and find out what this whole Adoration thing is. Didn't Pope Benedict say something about that on his trip to the US?

Why hasn't Brother Brit signed up here yet?

Anonymous said...

Sign me up for the Brothers of Perpetual Discernment? Reading this blog is like reading my thoughts except that... you know... I'm a guy.

Sister Caprice said...

Hi Darin! You know, we are looking for new members, and as Mother Frangelico says, what you and I experience isn't really unique.

If you really think this community is calling you, why don't you send me an email, or send one to Mother Frangelico? Either one of us can help you. (I'm much nicer than she is, although if you send her an email she'll be very sweet to you.)

My email is connected to my profile, but I'll make it easy for you:


Either one of us is happy to help! And Father is around here and there and would also be thrilled to answer your questions, but he might not be available to get to your email. Once you're a part of the community he is great for advice..when he's around.

(Hmmm...why do I feel like I'm talking about my Dad? Deja vu all over again...)